The Distant Future

A lot of people don't know this, but I'm typing to you from the future. In fact, if you're reading this anytime after 6 PM (EST) on the 31st, I'm already living in 2009.

A lot of people are probably wondering, what is the future like? Well, some type of "de-evolution" has apparently taken place, and now everyone speaks Spanish. Also, the TV shows are terrible, and soccer is the most popular sport. I fear my only hope is to build a time machine and stop these tragic changes from taking place.

Circus Liveblog

I live with a guy who goes by the name of Circus. Well, he doesn't know that but that's his name. Circus is incredibly gay; however that's not why I find him entertaining. He's a very nice guy, and I make no judgement of his lifestyle. But every single thing he does is hilarious. Especially when he's sick, which he has been for what seems like weeks.

12:50: Circus sneezes. His sneezes cannot adequately be described in writing. Try to imagine Betty Boop sneezing, but more efeminine.

12:56: Circus is shopping for shoes online.
Note- Circus really likes the movie Troy.

1:01: Curcus blows his nose.

1:04: Still looking at shoes.

1:07: Puma website taking a long time to load; Circus impatiently runs fingers through his hair.

1:08: Finally! Back to browsing. After a good long noseblow we're back to puma.com.


Note- These are the shoes he's spent the most time looking at:


1:17: I live in a slum and our internet is borrowed from our neighbors. As a result it often goes out. Circus and I both just spent 5 minutes refreshing our browsers till we can finally reconnect.

1:20: Circus is sitting on the couch in an incredibly flamboyant way. (And that's saying something considering I often sit on the couch Indian Fashion.) Circus's current sitting position can be most closely equated to this:

Note- Circus shaves his legs.

1:25: A lot of people don't know this, but in Spain they show nudity on TV. Troy has ended, and the award winning Eurotrip is now on. Scenes of female nudity, no matter how brief, are always more awkward when Circus is watching with us.

Which reminds me of my all time favorite Circus moment: One night, Circus was sitting studiously at the diningroom table, with a textbook and a plate of food (Circus never stops eating.) He appeared to be concentrating quite hard. As I walked past him to get something from the kitchen, I glanced to see what he was studying. What was on the page, that he was desperately trying to decipher?

A picture of a vagina.

1:28: Circus blows his nose, then puts down his computer. He is fully invested in this movie.

1:35: Circus declines an invitiation from another roommate to go have a drink at a bar across the street. He is just too sick.

1:57: The only thing more uncomfortable than watching female nudity with Circus is watching male nudity. I forgot about the scene in Eurotrip that has hundreds of naked men.

2:04: Circus blows his nose, then lets out deep sigh.

2:17: Circus is in bad shape. He has a perpetually miserable look, and claims to have a fever. Well, I didn't hear exactly what he said but he dramatically put the back of his hand to his forehead, before the act of raising his arm simply became too exhausting. This could be the first death in liveblog history.

2:25: Circus disgustingly blows his nose. I mean you could hear every glob of muceous. It almost made me puke, but at least I know he's still alive.

2:30: Circus asked one of the roommates, a girl, to get him something from the upstairs bathroom. Wow. Anyway, she couldn't find whatever the hell it was, so he has disapeared upstairs looking for it. This might be the end of Circus.

2:35: He's back. With a weird looking, tea-like drink in hand. He listlessly stirs the glass while watching the exciting conclusion of Eurotrip.

2:41: Circus has stopped using tissues to blow his nose and is now using the "plug one nostril and inhale" technique.

2:44: Circus: "Hasta manana." Hasta manana, Circus. And thus ends the first annual Circus Liveblog. More to come soon.